You Talkin' To Me!?

Judging is a part of our daily lives whether we want to acknowledge that fact or not. It's something that just comes naturally to us all. We may come across something in the news and instantly make a snap judgement. We go out into the world and cross paths with a homeless guy begging for change and make a snap judgement. You say to yourself, he must be on drugs or something to be out here begging like that. Your out with your friends and you see a woman wearing a certain type of outfit and instantly judge her for that, even if she looks good or not.

About 5 years ago I had a afternoon party with a few of my closest friends and acquaintances at the time. I invited a new woman to join us, who I only just met a couple of months prior. Let's call her Lisa for the sake of the story I'm about to embark on. Anyway, I always loved hosting small gatherings at my home. It makes me feel good knowing that people are enjoying themselves in my space.

After the event was over I walked Lisa to her car and asked if she had a good time. I just wanted to make sure that I made her feel comfortable and included. She was very thankful and said yes she enjoyed herself.

The next day I receive a phone call from her. In my mind, I'm thinking she was calling to say thank you for inviting her once again but the call was something totally unexpected. Lisa thanked me for the invite and then segways into asking how I knew the other ladies in attendance. I explained to her that I was friends with one and the rest I knew from going out from time to time. In other words, they were acquaintances but good people. Inviting them to this party was my way of trying to get to know the rest of them more. Her next statement shocked me.

She then asked, "How are they friends with you? I just don't understand that." I wasn't sure where she was going with that so I asked her to elaborate more. She continued by saying, "Well I ask how can they be friends with you, just look at you - there so beautiful and you....I don't know." I was in total and complete shock by that statement. She made it sound as if by those model gorgeous woman associating with me was there way of taking pity on my sorry Sasquatch ass. I'm making light of this story by even calling myself a Sasquatch, but I never saw myself as anything to take pity on muchless ugly. If anything I was the total opposite. I accepted who I was and paraded myself around as such. I felt good in whatever I was wearing and I always made whatever outing feel like I was on a runway in Paris. I appreciate every step I take in my life. It took me quite a few years to even get to this place. I didn't come from my mother's womb perfect. I'm anything but....

By her making that kind of statement to me just shows how harshly we all judge one another. This woman was obviously not my friend to begin with. But you'll find people that you consider to be your 'friends' may say something just as harsh to you or even worse. It's up to you to speak up and tell them that there perspection of you is totally false. Sometimes you'll find that they need to look at themselves in the mirror. That they need to learn to accept what's looking back. That's a lesson we all need to learn at some point in our lives.

Your Voice:
Has anyone is your life overstepped that boundary of judgement to you? What was your reaction? Did you come back harshly or did your rise above what was said? Or maybe even let that dictate your own perception of yourself?

Sometimes people think they are saving you anguish by voicing such things to you but in reality they are calling out what they secretly loathe about themselves.

Namaste,
Rhonda Iris