Are You Really What You Attract?

Growing up I was always known as that girl who attended the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses. Having been raised in an inner city public school environment made that a bit tougher for me in many ways. The kids assumed that I was programmed to preach to them on command. On one end of the spectrum, the majority of the kids stayed away from me. Being ostracized became the norm. Then on the other end, I was allowed in to associate with what were deemed the outcasts. But within that realm I still tread very lightly.
During that time there was one scripture that seemed to have been drilled into my skull - 'Bad associations spoils useful habits'. That's only a small portion of it but you all get the general meaning. I took that scripture to heart growing up. Every person I surrounded myself with was looked at with my critical eye. But then I realized that I wasn't that type of person. I found it so difficult to judge so harshly. I knew everyone came from a different situation than mine. Some good and some very bad. I was the girl who became friendly with gang members from the Latin Kings. I was the girl who knew all the dope boys standing out on the corners everyday getting their hustle on. I never preached at anyone. I took the time to honestly get to know people and that's what made me the cool church girl at the end of the day. 

During my freshman year in high school a long time friend of mine had confessed to me that she was pregnant. Mind you , I was 13 and she was 14 years old. I was so fearful of telling my mother about what was going on with her. I already knew deep down inside that my mother would instantly make me stop associating with her. I ended up telling my mother later on and was very surprised at her lack of reaction to the news.

Its taken me years to learn this but by her not reacting she was speaking volumes. Decisions were solely up to me at that point in my life. The messages were already embedded into my soul, it was up to me if I truly wanted to listen, take heed and try to integrate them into my daily life. Even in my adult years I find that some people just can't be trusted, saved or even helped. But the one constant, I'm realizing, those same kind of folks that many of you would deem degenerates, still flock to me. Within this last week I have been experiencing repetitive light bulb moments. I used to think guys, and some women, who did time in jail, once sold drugs, murdered people, considered moochers, baby making machines with no other goals in life and anything else you can label them, were just that. Most were products of there environments. They were never given the opportunity to see what was on the other side of that greener grass. And I often wondered why did they constantly gravitate towards me? I didn't hang out in what was considered in an unsavory environment. My close circle of friends were all educated, compassionate and active contributors to society. So why did I still cross paths with people like that on a semi-regular basis? Even to this day...

Sometimes what you are is what other people want to obtain, mold and create for themselves in their very own lives. That's exactly how it was for me growing up. I was on the constant lookout for an exceptional role model. I wanted to create a life for myself that I knew was obtainable. I was a city that was dying with no way out except college, if you could afford it, that was the yellow brick road to another world. A world where you create a new life of your own. Life is what you make it, after all. If you want to live the street life, selling drugs, getting into fights, working a job that's a joke and having multiple baby mama's/father's, then have at it. It's yours for the taking. But we all know human nature wants us to strive for more and for better. If you want something more meaningful, it's out there. You just have to take the hard steps to get to it. I apologize if I ended up sounding like a public service announcement but there is definite truth to those words. I can say that I'm living proof of that.

Your Voice:
Do you feel that you may attract what maybe the total opposite of what you stand for currently? Or do you take that attraction as something must be wrong within you?

Look forward to hearing from you all.
Namaste,
Rhonda Iris