It seems over the years and with the increased social media activity distance is growing between us all. Instead of picking up the phone to call your friends, you send them a text.
I will admit I'm a guilty party to that as well.
Of course, life happens and this last week my car broke down. I wasn't surprised in the least. The car is 13 years old and has paid for itself time and time again.
One 'friend' (term loosely used) always seems to resort to calling or texting me at her most opportune times. Namely, when she's in need. I realized today that I truly don't know alot about this woman. I met her just over 2 years ago and it seems when she was seriously ill and in very much need, herself, no one was around. In moments like that you would think that would be a segway to disclosing more personal experiences and information about yourself. With her, no.
Why would I want to surround myself with someone who hasn't taken that risk of wanting to be my friend? Have we come to this as a society...we've become so suspicious of one another so much that it's just easier to send a mild text. Easier to call them once a month. Easier to keep everyone at arms length.
That kind of behavior doesn't keep you safe.
Life is about risks, taking chances. I know I'm a fine one to talk but I try my hardest to step off that ledge on a semi-regular basis.
So next time you meet someone who you think is cool, give them a chance, open yourself up just a bit. If they respond back in kind, then great, if not, then keep it moving.
Namaste,
Rhonda
Monday, April 30, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
Coincidence...I think not
A chance phone encounter with someone I went out on one date with last year came back into my life. Then when I thought about it again, this is the fourth time our paths have crossed in the last year. I began to wonder was it coincidence or was I supposed to learn something from this guy?
He confessed to me during our conversation that he never contacted me back again because of his own self-doubts. The tape player in his mind kept repeating, "Look at you, why would she want a guy like you anyway!" I would have never thought he would confess that to me but fine. I get self-doubt, I get self-sabotage but that kind of negative speak is beyond me. That showed me he had absolutely no confidence.
When my divorce was still fresh I had the same language swirling around in my head. Why would anyone want to consider dating someone like me? I had no job, I was sleeping on my friends daybed and my car was ten years old. In my mind, I had nothing else going for me. I was pathetic. Then I kept meeting men who had less than I did but had nerve to question my motives with them. If I wanted what little bit they already had, if I was looking for someone to lay up in my small space or looking to trap another man. It was none of those. I was looking for true companionship from someone who didn't call me a bitch every time I walked in the door. I was looking for outer peace to match the inner peace I had finally obtained. Like Mary J. Blige says, No More Drama! I was honestly looking for no more drama!
So my lesson with crossing paths with him again was to remind me of what I didn't want in my life going forward. I didn't want someone who questioned my true intentions. I didn't want someone who couldn't even look at themselves in the mirror without wanting to smash it. I didn't want someone who didn't believe in themselves. After all, why would I want someone who's my total opposite in all the negative things.
Honestly,
Rhonda
He confessed to me during our conversation that he never contacted me back again because of his own self-doubts. The tape player in his mind kept repeating, "Look at you, why would she want a guy like you anyway!" I would have never thought he would confess that to me but fine. I get self-doubt, I get self-sabotage but that kind of negative speak is beyond me. That showed me he had absolutely no confidence.
When my divorce was still fresh I had the same language swirling around in my head. Why would anyone want to consider dating someone like me? I had no job, I was sleeping on my friends daybed and my car was ten years old. In my mind, I had nothing else going for me. I was pathetic. Then I kept meeting men who had less than I did but had nerve to question my motives with them. If I wanted what little bit they already had, if I was looking for someone to lay up in my small space or looking to trap another man. It was none of those. I was looking for true companionship from someone who didn't call me a bitch every time I walked in the door. I was looking for outer peace to match the inner peace I had finally obtained. Like Mary J. Blige says, No More Drama! I was honestly looking for no more drama!
So my lesson with crossing paths with him again was to remind me of what I didn't want in my life going forward. I didn't want someone who questioned my true intentions. I didn't want someone who couldn't even look at themselves in the mirror without wanting to smash it. I didn't want someone who didn't believe in themselves. After all, why would I want someone who's my total opposite in all the negative things.
Honestly,
Rhonda
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
In 3's
You know that old saying, when something happens it usually ends up happening in three's. Once celebrity dies, then the second and you just know one more is coming.
Well that was definitely the truth for me this past Sunday. I knew, in my gut, that it was long overdue but I didn't think things would coming crashing down to the extent that it did.
It started with my bed frame crashing down to the floor. At first, I found it funny just because it happened in the most delicate circumstance. It was like a scene from a comedy that not even Jimmy Carrey could have played out any better than myself.
Then while trying to repair this busted up bed frame I ended up breaking my favorite martini glass completely in half. My Grandma always said to me growing up, "When you break a glass that means your breaking up trouble." But that was my second incident all in one evening. I just knew to sit back and wait for that last and final blow to come crashing in on me.
The last thing was someone ended up stealing my sunglasses from my house. Not sure if it was stealing or not but they were gone, not misplaced, just gone.
I laughed during and after every single one of those events this past Sunday evening. But once the quiet and the calm returned I became emotional. I'm well aware that all those things are material and can easily be replaced. I guess what struck me was how closely all these negative things occurred. Dealing with curve balls was always something I could do but on a more spread out basis. Not all within the same damn three hour span.
Yesterday, I took a moment to remember why I was grateful to even have a bed to sleep on. I was also grateful that I had nice martini glasses to sip from. And those sunglasses were a gift from a friend from over three years ago. They were even given to her as a promotional gift. I quickly realized it was the Universe showing me that it's time to clean house yet again. Time to make room for bigger and more substantial things going forward.
Honestly, I'm grateful to have a space where I can be fully relaxed and calm within...even if I do have to sleep on my mattress that's on the floor now...hahhaha
Namaste,
Rhonda
Well that was definitely the truth for me this past Sunday. I knew, in my gut, that it was long overdue but I didn't think things would coming crashing down to the extent that it did.
It started with my bed frame crashing down to the floor. At first, I found it funny just because it happened in the most delicate circumstance. It was like a scene from a comedy that not even Jimmy Carrey could have played out any better than myself.
Then while trying to repair this busted up bed frame I ended up breaking my favorite martini glass completely in half. My Grandma always said to me growing up, "When you break a glass that means your breaking up trouble." But that was my second incident all in one evening. I just knew to sit back and wait for that last and final blow to come crashing in on me.
The last thing was someone ended up stealing my sunglasses from my house. Not sure if it was stealing or not but they were gone, not misplaced, just gone.
I laughed during and after every single one of those events this past Sunday evening. But once the quiet and the calm returned I became emotional. I'm well aware that all those things are material and can easily be replaced. I guess what struck me was how closely all these negative things occurred. Dealing with curve balls was always something I could do but on a more spread out basis. Not all within the same damn three hour span.
Yesterday, I took a moment to remember why I was grateful to even have a bed to sleep on. I was also grateful that I had nice martini glasses to sip from. And those sunglasses were a gift from a friend from over three years ago. They were even given to her as a promotional gift. I quickly realized it was the Universe showing me that it's time to clean house yet again. Time to make room for bigger and more substantial things going forward.
Honestly, I'm grateful to have a space where I can be fully relaxed and calm within...even if I do have to sleep on my mattress that's on the floor now...hahhaha
Namaste,
Rhonda
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Hunger Games
I joined the millions of people who ventured out to see this novel turned movie on Sunday. Although, I did not read the series, the plot was all to familiar.
The overall concept was a bit jarring for me to deal with. Historically, the human race has performed unspeakable acts against children. Hell, humans, in general, have done unspeakable acts against one another! I guess seeing the terrified young faces struck a cord with me besides the overuse of propaganda and the rich staying rich imagery. It feels like it rang so close to the time we're all living in now.
But the one thing that bothered me were all the negative tweets in regards to the Rue character. I read tweets ranging from how someone couldn't believe the author cast a young African American actress to fill that part to how someone not wanting to see the movie anymore once she learned Rue was portrayed by a black girl.
I know mere children had to have written remarks like those because the ignorance spoke volumes. Maybe I'm fooling myself into giving a young person the benefit of the doubt. I know racist exists out in the world. But like they say movies have a way of imitating life.
All I ask is that we take the movie for what it is, a form of entertainment, although a bit morbid at times. Their are definitely many messages to take away from it but overall it's about a girl willing to step up and protect what little family she has left. She also protected her friend that was technically supposed to kill her. I think that's something to commend. A character that has heart is good in my book.
You didn't see Katniss not willing to help Rue just because she was a darker skinned brown girl now did ya!? Children don't see color....that's taught. Let's stop teaching them how to judge a book by it's cover (no pun intended).
Have a good week.
Rhonda
The overall concept was a bit jarring for me to deal with. Historically, the human race has performed unspeakable acts against children. Hell, humans, in general, have done unspeakable acts against one another! I guess seeing the terrified young faces struck a cord with me besides the overuse of propaganda and the rich staying rich imagery. It feels like it rang so close to the time we're all living in now.
But the one thing that bothered me were all the negative tweets in regards to the Rue character. I read tweets ranging from how someone couldn't believe the author cast a young African American actress to fill that part to how someone not wanting to see the movie anymore once she learned Rue was portrayed by a black girl.
I know mere children had to have written remarks like those because the ignorance spoke volumes. Maybe I'm fooling myself into giving a young person the benefit of the doubt. I know racist exists out in the world. But like they say movies have a way of imitating life.
All I ask is that we take the movie for what it is, a form of entertainment, although a bit morbid at times. Their are definitely many messages to take away from it but overall it's about a girl willing to step up and protect what little family she has left. She also protected her friend that was technically supposed to kill her. I think that's something to commend. A character that has heart is good in my book.
You didn't see Katniss not willing to help Rue just because she was a darker skinned brown girl now did ya!? Children don't see color....that's taught. Let's stop teaching them how to judge a book by it's cover (no pun intended).
Have a good week.
Rhonda
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Are you living your every moment?
Do you find yourself just moving through life without taking a minute to breathe it in fully? Running that race was a first in the many of new steps to come. I know for many of us things just aren't back to the glory days of before the housing bubble burst.
This weekend I was invited out with a few friends. I had a great time as always but towards the end of the night I was propositioned by a random male. Now I've had guys say the most outlandish things in order to achieve their goal of getting in my panties. This one chose to be a bit more on the straightforward and bolder side of the topic. He gave me exactly what I have been complaining about since moving here to Atlanta. He gave me honesty. Although the situation wasn't the most ideal or conducive to meeting a 'potential' mate he was definitely forthcoming on how he wanted his night to end.
He then takes the next step and proceeds to force a kiss on me. For those of you that know me, I'm part germophobe. So for me to even let this guy come that close, much less kiss me, was a huge deal. It was such a huge deal that my friend saw me and even questioned was I drunk in that moment. Which I was not, far from it actually.
After I turned him down on his invitation to come home with him I realized something. Before he walked away he said you need to live alittle more. Honestly, I thought I was...I'm sure he was referring to me turning down his offer though. But after he left I began to question if I wasn't truly living it up. I later confessed to my friend that I was never one to lose complete control to the point of ending up on a Girls Gone Wild video. Its just never been my style.
I guess my next step should be to really live it up a bit more. But living it up responsibility. ahahahh
Have a good week everyone. Spring is definitely here!
Rhonda
This weekend I was invited out with a few friends. I had a great time as always but towards the end of the night I was propositioned by a random male. Now I've had guys say the most outlandish things in order to achieve their goal of getting in my panties. This one chose to be a bit more on the straightforward and bolder side of the topic. He gave me exactly what I have been complaining about since moving here to Atlanta. He gave me honesty. Although the situation wasn't the most ideal or conducive to meeting a 'potential' mate he was definitely forthcoming on how he wanted his night to end.
He then takes the next step and proceeds to force a kiss on me. For those of you that know me, I'm part germophobe. So for me to even let this guy come that close, much less kiss me, was a huge deal. It was such a huge deal that my friend saw me and even questioned was I drunk in that moment. Which I was not, far from it actually.
After I turned him down on his invitation to come home with him I realized something. Before he walked away he said you need to live alittle more. Honestly, I thought I was...I'm sure he was referring to me turning down his offer though. But after he left I began to question if I wasn't truly living it up. I later confessed to my friend that I was never one to lose complete control to the point of ending up on a Girls Gone Wild video. Its just never been my style.
I guess my next step should be to really live it up a bit more. But living it up responsibility. ahahahh
Have a good week everyone. Spring is definitely here!
Rhonda
Monday, March 12, 2012
Step Out Of Yourself!
I completed a 5K race on Sunday morning for the first time in my life. Believe me when I say, I was never the running type but thanks to a friend who TOLD me that I was joining her yesterday was the kick in the ass I needed.
I grew up with the notation that runners were the top of the athletic food chain. That they were the Spartan elitist of the athletic realm. They were the one's who could run for 10 miles without stopping, not even for water. I was always fascinated when I would watch the marathon runners during the summer Olympics. My only thought would be how could they keep going for such a long period of time?!
Well now I know first hand what it takes to keep going. Instead of instantly cancelling myself out of the race I embraced it. I put on my Ipod and plugged into my own imagination and took in the sites. all the while. Seeing the world from a runners perspective was such a wonder. I live in a city where driving is the norm. You almost never see people walking anywhere. Maybe to and from their cars when exiting a store. So taking this moment to truly appreciate my surroundings and where I am in life was such a great experience.
So I say all that to encourage all of you out there to venture out and just do something new and different. If you've always wanted to try yoga then go check out your local yoga studio in your neighborhood. If you love art, why not go sign up for a art class. Stepping out of your daily routine is a great way to experience your life but it's also a great way to meet others in your own community.
Let's not lose a sense of who we are. Appreciate it, embrace it and just do it!
Have a good week everyone!
Namaste,
Rhonda Iris
I grew up with the notation that runners were the top of the athletic food chain. That they were the Spartan elitist of the athletic realm. They were the one's who could run for 10 miles without stopping, not even for water. I was always fascinated when I would watch the marathon runners during the summer Olympics. My only thought would be how could they keep going for such a long period of time?!
Well now I know first hand what it takes to keep going. Instead of instantly cancelling myself out of the race I embraced it. I put on my Ipod and plugged into my own imagination and took in the sites. all the while. Seeing the world from a runners perspective was such a wonder. I live in a city where driving is the norm. You almost never see people walking anywhere. Maybe to and from their cars when exiting a store. So taking this moment to truly appreciate my surroundings and where I am in life was such a great experience.
So I say all that to encourage all of you out there to venture out and just do something new and different. If you've always wanted to try yoga then go check out your local yoga studio in your neighborhood. If you love art, why not go sign up for a art class. Stepping out of your daily routine is a great way to experience your life but it's also a great way to meet others in your own community.
Let's not lose a sense of who we are. Appreciate it, embrace it and just do it!
Have a good week everyone!
Namaste,
Rhonda Iris
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Full Circle and Full Moon in 2012
So far 2012 is turning into the year of deja vu when it comes to people from my past popping back up. Over the years this has always happened to me. The conversation usually entails regret for leaving me in the first place, hurt and alot of apologizing on the other person's behalf. I think we've all come across situations when you wronged someone but were to stubborn to be the adult and apologize for your behavior. Instead, we would rather eat crow and let years trickle by before the Universe flashes a damn bulb in our eyes to make us remember what we did wrong and why it's time to make it all right again. Or what the other party has done as well.
I've had 4 people in the last week alone try contacting me. Once I spoke to them or saw the initial text messages I soon recalled why I stopped speaking to them in the first place. The Universe, God, Allah or whatever you want to call it, is definitely hard at work this first month of the year. I'm using this time as a teaching tool. A tool to show me why things with that particular person never worked in the first place and forcing me to make a choice. Do I deal with that all over again and keep the cycle going? Or do I finally learn the lesson for what I will not stand for any longer in my own life?
I think I choose the latter....why continue a cycle that you consciously know will continue down the same path time and time again.. Especially if you already know that the other person hasn't done one thing to change their behavior.
Keepin' it movin' for 2012!
Namaste,
Rhonda
I've had 4 people in the last week alone try contacting me. Once I spoke to them or saw the initial text messages I soon recalled why I stopped speaking to them in the first place. The Universe, God, Allah or whatever you want to call it, is definitely hard at work this first month of the year. I'm using this time as a teaching tool. A tool to show me why things with that particular person never worked in the first place and forcing me to make a choice. Do I deal with that all over again and keep the cycle going? Or do I finally learn the lesson for what I will not stand for any longer in my own life?
I think I choose the latter....why continue a cycle that you consciously know will continue down the same path time and time again.. Especially if you already know that the other person hasn't done one thing to change their behavior.
Keepin' it movin' for 2012!
Namaste,
Rhonda
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